Life.. random thoughts

I never really understood when friends and family said that every pregnancy is different until this pregnancy with Felicity it was pretty easy and I loved being pregnant and the fun little baby kicks.  I had no problems with my seizures and was on the lowest dose. Yes the last trimester was hard being so uncomfortable  and just wanting to hold my precious baby, but compared to this pregnancy it has been super hard I had a seizure and am taking a high dose of my medication.  My hormones are all out of whack I go from super depressed and just want to cry EVERY minute about everything and nothing.  I also have times that I feel dizzy and nausea, my stomach in my chest and cant breath half the time.  These baby kicks I swear at times he is bruising me.  I hate this pregnancy I cant wait to feel myself again- hopefully soon.. When will I feel happy again?
I have a scheduled C-section for August 7th.  That means I only have 13 days left but it still seems like forever because I am so miserable.  Not only is my whole body achy but Detroit is positioned right on a nerve that is making my whole left thigh numb not to mention it hurts really low when I walk, so I just want to sit around all day!I have chronic nose congestion and nothing seems to help I hate not being able to breath easy and since I can't breath and I'm super warm all the time I can't get any sleep! 

I can't sleep because I of course at this stage I just cant seem to get comfortable and I end up kicking all the pillows off and then I also have to get up dozens of times at night to pee.  I also have so much on my mind lately like I just want this little guy in my arms instead of in my tummy but then I'm scared to death of change so I'm freaking out. How is my sweet little angel going to handle having a new baby around?  How am I gonna survive- well EVERYTHING?  Will I be able to bond with him as easily as I did with Felicity?  Will I ever be able to stop crying?  Will I ever stop having the annoying crazy dreams that leaves me more exhausted the when I fell asleep?

Felicity is a good sleeper at night I just wish I could keep her in her bed all night, see at random times at night she sneaks into our room to sleep on the floor.  Cody will usually growl so that wakes me up but she never says a word just comes in and goes to sleep on the floor.  It makes me nervous that will step on her one the Bazillions of times I get up during the night!  

* On a more exciting note though Felicity has gone to sleep Monday night without her binkie Tuesday night without her binkie and today, Wednesday nap time without binkie ~ insert jumping for joy here~ :) I am so proud of her!  I just hope that we can keep it up!!  She has started shorter nap times that are going from being 2-3 hours to barley and hour which makes me pretty sad but hopefully that means she will have an earlier bedtime!  I HOPE!! 
Potty training is going fairly well but we are pretty slow I leave it up to her in the morning when getting her dressed I ask if she wants to be big and wear panties or not be big and wear a diaper.  sometimes she loves to sit on the potty and we are consistely sitting there but other times she fights me and fights me not to sit there SO frustrating!!

And just a random tea party picture just because she is so adorable!